Men Have A Wide Range Of Sexual Concerns

Every man (and woman) has concerns about what is sexually normal. There is a wide range of concerns about what is normal physically (like penis size); how your sexual body functions (erections, ejaculation); what thoughts or fantasies are normal (e.g., being sexually aggressive, group sex, attracted to a coworker, sex with animals); how to make love (how to “turn a woman on”); and what are appropriate sexual feelings (e.g., “horny”), sexual interest (e.g., “Am I addicted to strip bars?”), or behaviors (“Is my use of porn okay?”). We hear real men say things like:

  • “Am I normal?”
  • “Is my partner normal?”
  • “I love sex; it’s great. But I am not like men in the movies or TV. Is there something wrong with me?”
  • “My testicles hang differently. Is there something wrong with me?”
  • “I don’t want to get older, 55 or 75, because sex surely must decline and end.”
  • “I’m embarrassed that I don’t know how to be a super lover.”
  • “I had really great sex with her, but is that all there is?”
  • “I feel so dumb! Nobody talked to me about what healthy sex is. I don’t trust all the braggadocio I hear from male friends in the locker room or sports bar.”
  • “Sex with a long-term partner gets boring.”
  • “I use pornography regularly because it is my guarantee for variety. It ensures that I can get aroused and erect. Is that healthy?”
  • “I feel inadequate; I doubt my ability to perform and satisfy my partner.”
  • “Penis size seems so important to women. I worry, am I big enough?”
  • “Sex is supposed to be natural, but I have difficulty letting go.”
  • “My sexuality as a man seems more complex than what other men say, TV or movies show, or what the Internet says. Am I peculiar or inadequate?”
  • “There are times that I feel very ashamed of my honest sexual desires, that they are ‘bad.’”
  • “I often doubt my ability to perform, to sexually satisfy my partner.”
  • “Are my fantasies, my body, my lovemaking style normal?”
  • “I’m afraid she’s judging me, my sexual skills and performance; this makes me anxious.”
  • “I have some weird thoughts and desires. How do I know if I’m deviant?”

These and other thoughts and feelings represent common concerns men have about their masculinity and sexual performance. If you are a man who wants to be honest with yourself and not live in the world of beer commercials, simplistic promises of Viagra ads, and sexual hype, you’ll find yourself in this blog. You can learn to feel proud of your masculinity and sexuality. This is a blog for honest, strong, thoughtful men. We will explore common anxieties that many of us experience. Most men have little opportunity to learn from other men about healthy sexuality. We will confront common barriers to growing and developing an adult, healthy, and satisfying male sexuality. This blog takes men’s sexuality seriously. Rather than trivializing men and sex, we consider complexity. This is a blog for real men, not politically correct men. We will give you essential facts and discuss how sexual health can confirm your masculinity and promote life satisfaction.

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Posted in Men's Sexual Health Facts

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