Men's Sexual Health Facts
Does a man’s fertility decline over time?
You hear stories about men fathering children well into their 60s and 70s — sometimes even into their 80s. This may be true in isolated cases. But scientists are finding that men experience an age-related decline in fertility, too. It occurs later than it does in women, typically starting in the late 30s. One study found a 40 percent decline in the probability of a man impregnating his partner from ages 35 to 40.
What causes reduced fertility in men? In order for your partner’s sperm to fertilize your egg, it must mature properly, survive intercourse and the passage through your reproductive tract, and remain viable until your egg is ready. It then must penetrate the firm capsule (zona pellucida) of the egg, fertilize the egg and provide normal genetic material for the early development of your baby. That’s a tall order anytime. Under the best circumstances, a sperm cell is capable of fertilizing an egg for only two to three days after ejaculation.
As a man gets older, his sperm have a harder time completing all these tasks. Starting even as early as his 30s, his sperm are more likely to have chromosome problems, which can adversely affect sperm function and the early development of the embryo. In addition, his sperm may not swim as well as they used to, although unless he also has a low sperm count, this isn’t likely to affect his fertility. Doctors and scientists are investigating whether changes in the testes and prostate may adversely affect sperm production and the biochemical properties of semen. Although a man’s age doesn’t seem to have much effect on the biochemistry of his semen, researchers are identifying new substances that may affect sperm function over time. Smoking and a few medications may decrease male fertility.
The 10 Things Men Need to Learn for Individual Sexual Health
2. Integrate your sexuality into your personality.
3. Have positive, realistic expectations of your body’s response.
4. Affirm that sexuality at its core is relational, not autonomous.
5. Value touch and pleasure as well as function.
6. Be wise in regulating and expressing your sexuality.
7. Be aware of the three styles of sexual arousal and choose how to integrate these into your couple sexual style.
8. Value your partner as your sexual friend and be an intimate team.
9. Integrate sex into your real life and your real life into your sex life.
10. Realize that Good-Enough Sex rather than settling for mediocre is genuine,
satisfying, and high quality.
Long-Term, Satisfying Sexuality Varies in Quality
The Truth About Great Sex
The truth is that if you think healthy and act healthy, you’ll feel healthy sexually. Thinking well about male sexuality involves taking good care of your body, your partner’s body, realistic expectations of sex, and adopting the Good-Enough Sex model. This approach is focused on being an “intimate team;” on pleasure-oriented sexual function rather than falling into the perfect performance trap; understanding the multiple purposes for sex, the three basic arousal styles and how to use them in partner sex, and maintaining positive, realistic sexual expectations.
Ultimately Sex Is About Relationship Intimacy and Satisfaction
Pornography May Be Fine Fantasy but Healthy Sex Is Reality Based
Male Sexuality Has Multiple Dimensions
The biological factors are the physiologic dimensions of sexual function—sexual drive, getting and keeping erections, ejaculation and orgasm, and physiological sexual satisfaction. The physical systems are the vascular, neurologic, hormonal, and behavioral health habits. Good physical condition and healthy habits are the foundation for your biological sexual health. The psychological dimensions (CBE) are your cognitions, behaviors, and emotions. You can understand and ensure healthy sexual cognitions or thoughts (C); actions or behaviors (B); and your feelings or emotions (E). The relationship dimension, includes the identity you and your partner share as a couple (e.g., couple expectations such as balancing autonomy and cohesion); your style of cooperation and interactions such as mutual conflict resolution; and emotional intimacy—especially empathy with your partner. Societal norms refers to the social and cultural environment within which sexuality is understood, moderated, and regulated. This dimension includes prevailing societal attitudes, scientific understanding of sexuality, the laws regulating sexual behavior, as well as religious, moral, and ethical principles. Integrating your sexuality within the social norms and freedoms as well as restrictions of your culture are important aspects of healthy male sexuality. The psychosexual skills for lovemaking include the cognitive, behavioral, emotional, and interpersonal factors in sexual response. These are important aspects for facilitating your sexual comfort and confidence. This approach is worth your investment because when you understand how things work and what’s involved, it makes sense, and you can integrate it into your cognitions, behaviors, and emotions. This allows you to feel more comfortable and natural. What you understand, you can do. What you can do well, you feel good about!
Men’s Sexuality Is Complex
We propose a new psycho-biosocial, integrative model, that can be valuable for the man (and his partner) from his 20s to his 80s. We label our model the “Good-Enough Sex” model. What is different about our integrative psycho-biosocial model is that it includes multidimensional aspects of each component (mind, body, relationship) plus positive, realistic expectations based on accurate, scientific information and personally relevant guidelines. For example, the psychological dimension appreciates that we have important sexual thoughts (cognitions), feelings (emotions), and actions (behaviors) that need to be integrated. We want you to see the complexity of male sexuality, not trivialize it; to feel confident; to respect your manliness; to understand how to build your sexual satisfaction individually and in a relationship. These features vary and develop throughout your life. Sexuality is not set in stone, immutable, but rather evolving and contributing to the distinctive man that you are at each age.
You Need a Model for Your Sexuality as a Man
Your sexual model will have a valence; sex is either fundamentally positive or negative—sex is good or sex is bad. Your model needs to focus on you as an individual and on your sexual relationship. Focus your model on accurate knowledge, feelings (satisfaction), and behavior (sexual function). You want to avoid being simplistic or one-dimensional. Ensure that your model of sexuality is inclusive, multidimensional, and well integrated with your body and mind. As much as we all wish important things in life could be simple, the fact is that life is complex, and so is sexuality.
There Are Many Barriers To Healthy Sex
Negative Messages About Men and Sex in the Media. Product marketing: It is important to realize that we live in a commercial culture and that media is a primary source for selling products. Sex sells. Because of its natural power, sex is used to get our attention and even to create a need by associating sexualized women to attract us to a product—whether a car, shaving lotion, beer, or athletic club. Be aware that marketing typically trivializes men and sexuality. News and entertainment: Male sexuality attracts attention—often associated with shame. For example, news reports often and sadly focus on rape, lust killings, child sexual abuse, arrests of men making or distributing child porn, sexual abuse by clergymen, and voyeurism. Men are frequently portrayed as sexually troubled and even dangerous, addicted to Internet pornography, sex harassers, or sex offenders. Some TV shows engage in male-bashing. Men who try to be sexually healthy may unfortunately Avoidance (“Silence”) About Honest Male Sexual Feelings. Men’s cautiousness about expressing honest sexual feelings is a significant barrier to sexual health. This silence in expressing honest sexual feelings subverts feeling proud of masculinity and sexuality. Men (and women) get faked out, believing that male sexuality is simplistic, one-dimensional (e.g., intercourse), impersonal, and about perfect performance and proving masculinity. This may fit an adolescent emerging from childhood to manhood, but men seeking lifelong sexual health do not live in such a one-dimensional world of sex. Male “Bravado”: Bragging and Trivializing. Seldom do men honestly talk with other men about sex in a personal way. Locker-room teasing, joking about another man, and exaggerating sexual escapades are accepted as normal male interaction. Sex is simple, no questions, automatic; it is about how often one “scores” (gets “laid”). This competitive bantering is the usual public discourse for men. When that is the only level on which men communicate with each other about sex, it reinforces a lack of understanding and acceptance and sets up self-defeating sexual expectations. Typical male language can also be a barrier—language that is object focused (third person) rather than an expression of personal thoughts or feelings. Objectifying language depersonalizes and trivializes sexuality. For example, when a man says to his partner “Your body is hot” he may actually mean “I’m lonely and want to feel special and close to you”; “You’ve got great tits” may mean “When you invite me to enjoy you and get close to you I feel special”; or “You don’t want sex? What’s wrong with you?” may mean “I’m confused. When you flat out just say ‘no,’ I think you don’t love me. I feel rejected and controlled.” Unrealistic Sex Expectations. Sex as presented in our society has virtually nothing to do with what we know of realistic sex according to the best scientific research. The public impression and discussion of sex in America is almost silly. When accurate information is undermined by myths, political distortions, and hype, people do not learn and accept facts about men’s bodies, women’s bodies, and how people function sexually. Without accurate information, we are susceptible to myths, “Hollywood” or pornographic notions of what is supposed to be “real” sex. You will not find men’s sexual health portrayed in a porn movie because pornography is purely about sexual fantasy. Fantasy is “what you don’t have and can’t reasonably have in real life with a real woman.” That doesn’t make it “bad”—just fantasy. Pornographic fantasy has the message that sexual drive does not need to be regulated, that anything goes. Major unrealistic expectations are encouraged. There is an absence of positive societal messages that teach boys (and men) to regulate their sex drive. Instead, the cultural message about sex drive is negative and shaming (such as in radical feminist philosophy, anti-porn zealots, or negative religious messages of sin). Paradoxically, this shame serves to powerfully contribute to sexual impulsivity and impede men’s sexual health.
take on by osmosis subtle collective shame, feeling that as a man he is somehow implicated, suspect, bad.
Sexual Health Is A Lifelong Developmental Process
“To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.”—Robert Louis Stevenson
The best research indicates that the quality of sex—like fine wine—improves with age. If you take good care of your psychological, physical, and relationship health, lifelong sexual satisfaction is a realistic expectation.
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