Childhood Sexual Behavior
The Importance of Adult Reactions
Because so much of childhood sexual behavior is normal exploration, an important dimension of learning sexual health as a boy is the reaction of important adults to the sex behavior. In your life, do you remember parents reacting in a positive but direct way when you were publicly touching your penis? Did they calmly teach you, “Touching yourself feels good, doesn’t it, but you should only do this at home, in private.” Or did they react with shock and disgust? “Oh! Don’t ever do that again!” When adults are positive, calm, and clear about sexual boundaries, kids learn healthy messages and boundaries. If this positive approach was your prominent experience growing up, appreciate your parents’ wisdom. If not, it is now your job as a man to develop healthier beliefs, feelings, and behaviors—and to be a sex educator with your own children.
Observed Childhood Sexual Behaviors
- Touches genitals when in public places
- Masturbates with hand
- Draws genitals when drawing pictures of people
- Touches or tries to touch women’s breasts (e.g., mother, aunt)
- Masturbates with toy or object (blanket, pillow, plastic toy)
- Touches another child’s genitals
- Touches genitals at home
- Touches animal’s genitals or nipples
- Makes sexual sounds (sighs, moans, heavy breathing, etc.)
- Rubs body or genitals against people or furniture
- Tries to look at people when they are nude or undressing
- Pretends that dolls or stuff ed animals are having sex
- Shows genitals to adults
- Dresses like the opposite sex
- Stands too close to people
- Tries to look at pictures of nude or partially dressed people
- Talks about genitals
- Kisses and hugs other children they do not know well
- Shows genitals to other children
- Is very interested in the opposite sex
- Puts his mouth on mother’s or other women’s breasts
What Is Natural and Healthy Sexual Behavior for Children?
Sex Behaviors of 6- to 12-Year-Old Boys
Similar to boys, girls’ overt sexual behaviors decline. Girls aged 6–9 (a) touched their vagina or anus at home (21%) as well as (b) tried to look at people when they were nude or undressing (21%). When 10–12 years old, they, like the boys, were observed to be very interested in the opposite sex (29%).
These data show that boys and girls are sexual individuals, that their public sexual behaviors decline from toddlerhood to puberty, and that during these years, children are learning the values and boundaries of the family and community.
Studies of children 0–11 years old in Europe also confirm the sexual curiosity and behaviors of boys and girls. Perhaps because some European societies are more sexually open and accepting, studies report more sexual behaviors than in the United States. For example, “touching breasts” is reported for 42% of U.S. boys (and girls); in Spain, 63% (Lopez Sanchez, Del Campo, & Guijo, 2002); in Sweden, 68% (Larsson & Svedin, 2002); and in the Netherlands, 74% (Sandfort & Cohen-Kettenis, 2000).
Sex Behaviors of 2- to 5-Year-Old Boys
